Honor and Shame

When a well-known theologian came to Singapore, a school invited me to join him and several others for lunch. Since I arrived earlier than everyone else, I sat at the far end of a round table, thinking I would be out of everyone’s way as they came in and filled the table. But I wasn’t aware of the culture – that seat with an uninterrupted view of the entrance is the most honored, kept for the special guest. The organizer explained the culture and asked me to move to another seat a few seats away from the special guest. I was slightly embarrassed and learned a valuable lesson about waiting for people to assign a seat before sitting down.

The Lord Jesus saw a similar faux pau, culturally inappropriate behavior: Every guest chose places of honor at a feast (Luke 14:7). Seeing this, Jesus said,

“When someone invites you to a wedding, do not take the seat of honor, lest someone more honorable than you comes, and the one who invited you tells you, ‘Give your seat to him.’ Then you will be humiliated as you are seated in a less significant seat” (14:8–9).

These people were making the same mistake that I made, taking places of honor, but unlike me, who did the faux pau from ignorance, they did it because of pride. The Lord wanted to be humble.

“Instead, when someone invites you, take the insignificant seat so the one who invited you will come and say to you, ‘Friend, come to the prominent seat.’ Then, you will be exalted before every guest reclining at that feast” (14:10).

That was a practical and culturally appropriate advice. Jesus taught the disciples how to be humble in their society and ministry. Seeking and demanding one’s honor would lead to humiliation, but being humble could bring them true honor. He summarized it:

“Everyone who exalts him/herself will be humiliated, but everyone who humbles him/herself will be exalted” (14:11).

What a word of advice! We shouldn’t seek honor, prestige, and favored places. When we do, we might be humiliated. But we should genuinely seek places of lowliness, humility, and simplicity. We might be exalted. Even if not, we will not be humiliated.

This is a lesson to apply in our lives and ministry. We are often tempted to think that we deserve more significance, power, ministry, authority, and recognition. Those shouldn’t be our goals – only faithfulness to God’s call and demand. I love a phrase from Paul’s instruction to the Corinthians, which I consider my philosophy of ministry: “What is expected of God’s servants?S/he be found faithful” (1 Cor 4:2).